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Page 24
"Very soon
We knew I had a lover. I was scared.
The thrill was strange to feel his deep fierce eyes
Burning upon me, not to be escaped
Shrink in what nook I would. His changeful voice,
Now passionate with praise, now low and sad
Like the murmur of the pine-woods from far off,
Pained me as sweetest music pains the ear
That longs for stillness. Then the rush and stir
Of angers in his talk, when he cried out
On wrongs of Italy, on this man's fraud,
That other's cowardice or callous sloth,
Jarred on me like a madman's eloquence
Until I almost feared him, though they made
A hero of him to my childish mind.
I was scared and wished he had not loved me, yet
Was proud so to have pleased him, and I thought
'Nay, since he loves me, such a one as he,
It is my fate to love him. I have lived
With a child's carelessness, and am not ripe
To love with woman's love; but doubtless he
Is the strong sun that shines, and bye and bye
The flower breaks from its sheath and is ablow
And gives its richest perfumes.' And I'd muse,
In the sweet trance of daydreams, on the joy,
The perfect earnest joy, that would be mine
Of loving. I should be, I thought, like one
Who, wandering down a leafy dim ravine,
Comes suddenly in sight of the great sea
Which he has dreamed of, but has never known,
And presently is standing on the shore,
Gazing on the unbroken boundlessness,
Gazing upon an infinite new world.
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